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Daisy Petal Christianity: He Loves Me? He Loves Me Not?

Daisy Petal Christianity: He Loves Me? He Loves Me Not?

My main goal in life is to share with others how much God loves them.  I spent 90% of my like in guilt and shame so I want to help others avoid that. I still struggle to remember God loves me (I default to shame) daily but God reminds me how much He loves me and that I can rest in His strength. He reminds me that He used David, the woman at the well, and even a stubborn donkey—and He can even use me.

Have you ever wondered if God really loves you? Even when you feel unlovable? This is an excerpt from the book He Loves Me by Wayne Jacobson:

Daisy Petal Christianity

The little girl stands in the backyard chanting as she plucks petals one by one from the daisy and drops them to the ground. At game’s end, the last petal tells all; whether or not the person desired returns the affection.

He loves me.
He loves me not.

He loves me.
He loves me not.

Of course no one takes it seriously, and if children don’t get the answer they desire they take another daisy and start again. It doesn’t take long even for children to realize that flowers weren’t designed to tell romantic fortunes. Why should they link their hearts’ desires to the fickleness of chance?

Why indeed! But it is a lesson far easier learned in romance than in more spiritual pursuits. For long after we’ve put away our daisies, many of us continue to play the game with God.

This time we don’t pluck flower petals, but probe through our circumstances trying to figure out exactly how God feels about us.

I got a raise.
He loves me.

I didn’t get the promotion I wanted, or I lost my job alto­gether.
He loves me not!

Something in the Bible inspired me today.
He loves me!

My child is seriously ill.
He loves me not!

I gave money to someone in need.
He loves me!

I let my anger get the best of me.
He loves me not!

Something for which I prayed actually happened.
He loves me!

I stretched the truth to get myself out of a tight spot.
He loves me not!

A friend calls me unexpectedly to encourage me.
He loves me!

My car needs a new transmission.
He loves me not!


I have played that game most of my life, trying to sort out in any given moment how God might feel about me personally. I grew up learning that he is a God of love, and for the most part I believed it to be true.



In good times, nothing is easier to believe. In days when my family was healthy and our relationships a joy; when my min­istry thrived and both income and opportunity were increasing; when we had plenty of time to enjoy our friends and were not burdened down with need; who wouldn’t be certain of God’s love?

But that certainty eroded when those times of bliss were interrupted with more troublesome events…

…like a childhood condition that provided no end of embarrassment.

…or the day one of my friends in high school died of a brain tumor even as we prayed earnestly for his healing.

He Loves Me!

…or when I wasn’t selected for a job I wanted in college because someone had lied about me.

…or the night my house was robbed.

…or when I was severely burned in a kitchen acci­dent.

…or when I watched my father-in-law and my brother, both die with debilitating illnesses even though they sought God earnestly for healing.

…or when colleagues in ministry lied to me and spread false stories about me to win the support of others.

…or when I didn’t know from where my next pay­check would come.

…or when I saw my wife crushed by circumstances that I couldn’t get God to change no matter how hard I tried.

…or when doors of opportunity that appeared certain to open would suddenly slam shut like a wind-blown door.

Then I wondered how God really felt about me. I couldn’t understand how a God who loved me would either allow such things into my life or wouldn’t fix them immediately so that I or people I loved wouldn’t have to endure such pain.

He loves me not! Or so I thought on those days. My disap­pointment at God could easily turn two directions. Often in my pain and frustration, when I felt like I had done enough to deserve better, I would rail at God like the Job of old, accusing him of either being unfair or unloving. In more honest moments, however, I was well aware of the temptations and failures that could exclude me from his care. I would come out of those times committed to trying harder to live the life I thought would merit his love.

I lived for 34 years as a believer on this perilous tightrope. Even when there was no crisis hanging over my head, I was always wary of the next one God might drop on me at any second if I couldn’t stay on his good side. In some ways I had become like the schizophrenic child of an abusive father, never certain what God I’d meet on any given day-the one who wanted to scoop me up in his arms with laughter, or the one who would ignore me or punish me for reasons I could never understand.

Only in the last five years have I discovered that my methods of discerning God’s love were as flawed as pulling petals from a daisy. I haven’t been the same since.

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What about you?

Have you ever felt tossed back and forth by circumstances occasionally certain, but mostly uncertain about how the Creator of the universe feels about you? Or perhaps you’ve never even known how much God loves you.

In a Bible study recently, I met a forty-year-old woman who was active in her fellowship but admitted to a small group of us that she had never been certain that God loved her. She seemed to want to tell me more, but finally only asked me to pray for her.

As I did, asking God to reveal just how much he loved her, an image came to mind. I saw a figure I knew to be Jesus walking through a meadow hand in hand with a little girl about five years old. Somehow I knew this woman was that little girl. I prayed that he would help her discover a childlikeness of spirit that would allow her to skip through the meadows with him.

When I finished praying I looked up at her eyes that were brimming with tears.

“Did you say ‘meadow’?” she asked.

I nodded, thinking it odd she had focused on that word.

Immediately she began to cry. As she was able to speak, she said, “I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell you. When I was five years old I was molested in a meadow by an older boy. Whenever I think about God, I think about that horrible event and I wonder why, if he loved me so much, he didn’t stop that from hap­pening.”

She’s not alone. Many people carry scars and disappoint­ments that can appear to be convincing evidence that the God of love might not exist, or if he does, maintains a safe distance from them and leaves them to the whim of other people’s sins.

I don’t have a stock answer for moments like that, as if any could be effective in the midst of such pain. I told her, that evi­dently God wanted her to know he had been there with her, and although he didn’t act in the only way she could understand true love to act, that he loved her nonetheless. He wanted to walk her through that defiled meadow and redeem it in her life.

He wanted to give her a measure of joy in the face of the most traumatic event of her life and turn what was supposed to destroy her into a stepping stone toward grace. I know that can sound almost trite in the face of such incredible pain, but the process has begun for her. It is my hope these words will encourage that process in you, as well.


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For truly God has never acted towards us in any way other than with a depth of love that defies human understanding. I know it may not look like that at times. When he seems to cal­lously disregard our most noble prayers, our trust in him can be easily shattered and we wonder if he cares for us. We can even come up with a list of our own failures that can seemingly justify God’s indifference and beckon us into a dark whirlpool of self-loathing.

When we’re playing the he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not-game, the evidence against God can appear overwhelming. For rea­sons we shall see throughout these pages, God does not often do the things we think his love would compel him to do for us. He often seems to stand by with indifference while we suffer. How often does he seem to disappoint our most noble expecta­tions?

But perception is not necessarily reality. If we define God only in our limited interpretation of our own circumstances, we will never discover who he really is.

However, he has provided a far better way, where our daisy-petal approach to Christianity can be swallowed up by the undeniable proof of his love for us on the cross of Calvary. That’s the side of the cross that has all but been ignored in recent decades. We have not seen what really happened there between the Father and his Son that opens the door to his love so vast and so certain that it cannot be challenged even by your darkest days.

Through that door we can really know who God is and embrace the relationship with him that the deepest part of our heart has hungered to experience. That is where we’ll begin, because it is only in the context of the relationship God desires with us that we can begin to discover the full glory of his love.

He does love you more deeply than you’ve ever imagined; and he has done so throughout your entire life. Once you embrace that truth, your troubles will never again drive you to question God’s affection for you or whether you’ve done enough to merit it. Instead of fearing he has turned his back on you, you will be able to trust his love at the moments you need him most. You will even see in the strangest ways how that love can flow out of you to touch a world starved for it.

Learning to trust him like that is not something any of us can resolve in an instant; but something we’ll grow to discover for the whole of our lives. God knows how difficult it is for us to accept his love and teaches us with more patience than we’ve ever known. Through every circumstance and in the most sur­prising ways, he makes his love known to us in ways we can understand.

So perhaps it’s time to toss your daisies aside and discover that it is not the fear of losing God’s love that will keep you on his path, but the simple joy of living in it every day.

On the day you discover that, you will truly begin to live!

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
-1 JOHN 3:1

For your personal journey

How often do you find yourself doubting God’s love for you? When do you find you question His love the most? How certain are you that God loves you as deeply as he does anyone else in the world? When difficulties arise do you find yourself doubting God’s love for you, or trying to be more righteous so he’ll like you more? Ask God in the days ahead to reveal to you the depths of his love for you.

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About Robin Sampson


  1. I asked the Lord that question a few years ago, “What do you think of me, Lord?” I asked Him to reveal the depths of His love for me. I’ve been on a journey ever since. It hasn’t been easy. He has taken me through the most difficult circumstances of my life and has proven to be faithful and has spoken words of love to me during the worst times of my life. As I got more real with Him, he became more real to me.

    Great article! It sounds like a really good book. The Father wants us to know how much He loves us. This book looks like it will help many people along that journey of discovery.


    Penney Douglas’s last blog post..A Visit from Grandma and Grandpa

  2. Dear Robin,
    Thanks for the FREE download….I can’t wait to read it. I will be praying for you, I know that with a large family you have to do a lott and need to feel good enough to get up and take care of them. I have had some serious health issues lately and I have to totally rely on the Lord for strength. I will be praying for you and your family. God is your strength and he cares for you. Have a great week!!!

  3. Robin,
    Thanks for stopping by my blog.

    I was pleasantly surprised when I clicked on your blog and saw this book.
    We are reading this book!!! My husband and I just started a small group with young couples. (We are 49 & 50, the couples are late 20’s, early 30’s).
    We are reading “He Loves Me” in the group! We love the book so far and can’t wait to keep reading.

    Thanks again for stopping by. It always blesses me to have visits.


    Julie Todd’s last blog post..She’s Back

  4. Hi Mrs. Sampson
    Excellent post. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    We just got back from vacation and I wanted to say hello. I hope you’re doing well. 🙂

    Miss Jocelyn’s last blog post..Daughter Of The King

  5. Great post! How many of us have made this mistake of measuring God’s love using the wrong barometer? I have learned to understand that God loves us just the way we are but He keeps on working in us towards a change of heart and a renewal of our minds into His likeness.

    My Bug Life’s last blog post..Wheels From The Past

  6. God is our Father and like any other father he always wants that we live happily and troublesfree in our lives. He/she cures our wounds when we are in pain, and serves as an umbrella when it rains. Whatever good humans do is because of GOD and whatever bad or mistakes we do is because of We ourselves.

    Excellent Post Indeed!!!

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