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Honor Your Mother, Even When it’s Hard

Honor Your Mother, Even When it’s Hard

Mothers are precious gifts to their families, and the value of a godly mother is beyond measure. In the fifth commandment, Honor your mother and father (Exodus 20:12, 21:17), the word “honor” is to obey, to revere, to speak kindly to, to speak and think well of.

For God said, Honor thy father and thy mother: and, He that speaketh evil of father or mother, let him die the death.” Mat 15:4 ASV

Some mothers are easy to love, others, not so much. Mothers don’t always live up to our expectations. Some mothers’ hardships and challenges affect their ability to offer what we need or want. Or, they might have a personal weakness that negatively impacts us or our families.

Our job is follow the example of our heavenly Father, who loved us even though we didn’t have any qualities that deserved His favor. Romans 5:10 says He chose us to belong to Him through His Son Jesus, even while we were still His enemies.

Charles Stanley explains:

The command to “honor…your mother” is not a suggestion, and there are no exemptions. Her character or effectiveness as a parent is not the issue.

God loved us when we were unlovable. We can express our gratitude to Him by giving unconditional love to our mother. With the Holy Spirit’s help, we can choose to do so genuinely and consistently.

To love the significant women in our lives without any strings attached is an important part of showing them honor. No mother or wife should have to wonder if she’s living up to what loved ones hope and expect from her. After a while, she’ll feel trapped by the burden of unmet expectations, rather than accepted by those closest to her.

Mothers have the same needs as all women: to be loved, listened to, and cared about. Take time to show the important women in your life how much you care for them. Be a willing, attentive listener, and demonstrate your love to them in meaningful ways.

mothers_day_5_350The adversary wants us to criticize, judge and condemn; God wants us to love. Let’s not be hypocrites and say we are Christians while pointing fingers or uttering unkind words about others.

Are you walking the walk when you are full of unforgiveness?

A friend of our family had a lot of anger toward his mother . He was a deacon in the church but didn’t speak to his mother for thirty years.  When his mother entered a nursing home and he knew her days were limited, someone asked asked him,  “What was your mother’s mother like?” The proverbial light bulb went off. Her mother was extremely  abusive. Then another question, “Was she better than her mother?”  This opened his eyes and he renewed a relationship with his mother in a nursing home weeks before her death.  That was twenty years ago; as I write, my friend is in a nursing home today. Can you imagine how he would feel if he allowed his mother to go to her death feeling unloved?

In Matthew 14:5 Jesus admonished the Pharisees complaining about the disciples not washing their hands. He said, “For God said, Honor thy father and thy mother: and, He that speaketh evil of father or mother, let him die the death.” Mat 15:4 ASV

Jesus goes to the root of everything. By Pharisees own ordinances also Jesus exposes the consummate hypocrisy. .The judgment which the Lord pronounces on this system of hypocrisy gives rise to instruction that goes thus much farther; and which, searching the heart of man, and judging man according to that which proceeds from it, proves the heart to be a spring of all iniquity; and thus makes it evident that all true morality has its basis in the conviction and confession of sin. For, without this, the heart is always false and flatters itself in vain..(Darby’s Synopsis)

Matthew 5:44, which reads, “But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” So love your mom verbally, affectionately, patiently, gratefully, generously, tenderly, forgivingly, devotedly, cheerfully, and honorably.

Start today. Whether she lives close to you or has gone on to be with the Lord, celebrate her life by how you live.



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  1. Jamileh

    For 20 years of my life I have done what Scripture has said. I have honored my parents and loved them. I have been kind to them and haven’t talked bad about them, never talked bad to them, I haven’t been disrespectful. I have always tried my very best to be polite, patient, and extend mercy and grace to my parents. I have prayed for them and tried everything within my human power to get my parents to love and accept me. It hasn’t worked. They never have a kind word to speak to me, my kids, or my husband. Everything is VERY VERY negative and if we would just live the way they want us to, then they would love and accept us. There is no unconditional love from them. Every time they would call the house I would cringe as I knew no matter what I did or what I said they would just be hateful towards me. After many many years this has begun to take it’s toll on me…physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It was such a drain on me. I could take it no longer. I have tried to please them my whole life but I am done with that. I live for God and Him alone! I no longer try to please my parents and try to get them to accept. In light of a recent medical condition I decided to write my parents a letter and cut contact with them. There is only so much abuse and rejection a person can take. I would never recommend anyone stay in a relationship like that with anyone. After we have done all we can do, I truly think at some point (after exhausting all resources) it’s ok to cut ties. I still pray for my parents however I am happier and starting to recover fully from my medical condition. This situation was not only affecting me but my husband and my children. It was toxic! We must be careful not to nurture or enable a spirit of abuse in our lives no matter the form the abuse comes in and NO matter who it comes from.

    Blessings and Shalom

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